In the midst of a year that been full of unknowns, uncertainties and frustrations, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and deflated at the same time, losing sight of things that our children and we ourselves need in order for us to feel centred and aligned. We need stability in these times! I’m sure that subconsciously we are all yearning for the familiar, the typical, the routine, even if it’s your weekly coffee at your local cafe.

When we lose our alignment, you may notice that, like a snowball effect, things seem to go from bad to worse, culminating until you take stock and think: “What on earth is going on here?! Nothing is going right!”. These are times when we already feel unbalanced, and if we feel it, our children will most probably be feeling it, also. These are signs that it’s worthwhile to come home – to yourself, to your centre, and to your core.

RHYTHMS AND ROUTINES

Rhythms and Routines have been a staple in my motherhood journey, as they neatly helps us to navigate our way through the day with greater ease and flow. It also helps us to re-centre and re-focus when we may, at times, feel lost in the chatter and chaos that can at times enter our minds.

This is the chatter of the ego, and we don’t need to engage with the ego and fight against it; rather, we just need to reassure it that all is well, and to soothe it.

For a long time my ego was telling me that there was always something ‘more’ – more important, more worthwhile, than simply being with my children, but every time I re-focused and came home to myself, I found that being present, engaging and connecting with my children was the most important and worthwhile work, as the effect was immediately stabilising for them and for me.

We are living in times when we need greater stability and connection with each other and with Mother Earth, who is telling us to slow down, to nurture, and to be kind … Integrating rhythms and routines that value and appreciate these ideals will only help to foster greater strength to our children’s sense of stability and belonging, and consequently will gear them towards greater emotional resilience as adults.

HOW DAILY RHYTHMS CAN HELP OUR CHILDREN

Children crave routines and rhythms and rituals. They long for the familiar, the known, the expected, and it actually helps them, as human beings, to develop and strengthen their Root Chakra, the first Chakra which is vital for the other six to flourish.

If children have been frequently uprooted, have no set structure to their days, and are largely left in the midst of uncertainty, their Root Chakra will no doubt be out of alignment. Can you imagine a flower being able to bloom if it is constantly moved from one pot to another, and its roots unable to take hold to let it strengthen and feel safe? In terms of how this translates into the worlds of our children, if a child does not feel grounded, they may well feel:

• That they lack feelings of safety and security, which can make them anxious, afraid, emotionally volatile or timid
• That they have a hard time connecting with others, and they may mistrust or feel unable to depend on others
• A lack of confidence and esteem that can only come from feeling grounded, stable and calm

Simple ways that we can help to balance, ground and cultivate calm in our children’s inner worlds is simply by inviting and welcoming more rhythms and routines into our homes.

HOW TO INGRATIATE OUR CHILDREN’S VOICES INTO OUR ROUTINES

It is always important for us to feel ownership and a sense of power over what we do in our life. Our children are no exception to this, and by feeling ownership over what they are doing, they will feel a sense of empowerment in engaging in that activity. By opening up a conversation after dinner one evening, you can have a family discussion about what the day may look like. What activities do we enjoy doing in the morning? What should happen after lunch? How do we get ready for bedtime? All these prompts allow our children to think freely and to contribute to the discussion. List all their suggestions and comments, and from there, set about working them into a daily rhythm chart that they can help to structure or even draw or cut out pictures that will help them to associate what and when.

Although we already have some routines and rhythms, in the midst of Covid there have been disruptions to many of them, so it was time for us to have this conversation again.

My daughter (4) and I sat down together one evening and on a blank piece of paper, had this conversation about how our days can look like, and what we could do with all or most of our time ‘Staying At Home’. Afterwards I put it together and put it up on her pin board and on our fridge, where she refers to it when prompted. She takes great pride in it, and is becoming very proficient in self-regulation already, knowing that after lunch, she is expected to be quiet, and has taken to quiet and independent crafting.

Here’s how her Daily Rhythm Chart turned out! If you want to use it, simply click on the link to download your copy for your own personal use.